Nanny leaving: how to help children cope

There’s no doubt that a nanny will often become part of the family, and the longer they are with you, the more the children will bond with them. If your children are young, they will have no concept of the changes that can occur in life. Just as you are always there, it is probable that will presume nanny will always be there. So when it comes to saying goodbye to nanny, kids can have a hard time coping with it. There can also be problems when it comes to adjusting to a new nanny as they may miss their previous nanny very much.

When a nanny leaves on good terms

Whether your children are now of an age where they no longer need a nanny, or your nanny has chosen to change position or leave for personal reasons, when nanny leaves your children may be very upset so it’s important that you are clear with them and explain the situation.


If nanny is not moving too far away, you can tell the children that they can still see nanny, if she’s moving further afield, they can keep in touch by letter or email.


Sometimes children blame themselves for a nanny leaving and it’s so important to make sure they understand that this is not the case.


If you have new nanny, your child needs to understand that all nannies are different and it just takes a little time to get used to someone new. Also, they should understand that their old nanny would not mind in the least if they loved their new nanny too.



When a nanny leaves on bad terms

When a nanny leaves on bad terms, it can be a tricky situation. Regardless for the reasons the employment ceased, your children may still love this person very much and be upset that they are leaving.


It’s important to tell them the reasons for nanny going in terms they can understand. Little ones won’t need to be told too much, they just need to know it isn’t because they themselves did anything wrong. For older children you can explain in simple terms and answer their questions, so they understand the situation.


Under these circumstances it could well be that you don’t want to see the nanny again and they won’t want to see you either. You may feel guilty when your children are asking when they can see nanny and you know this isn’t going to happen, but don’t feel bad about it. Children are incredibly resilient and often cope better than we expect in these situations.


Talk and time are the ultimate healers

Time of course will play its part, and while your child may be upset and missing nanny today, it’s likely they will soon bond with a new nanny and feel a lot better about the situation soon. Talking too will ensure that your child isn’t holding any worries inside, perhaps they don’t know where their nanny has gone, if they will ever see them again, or why they left. Encouraging your child to talk about their nanny and ask questions will really help them to get over this trauma and move on.